tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post4891249838345312967..comments2024-03-28T00:44:42.302-07:00Comments on Tomboy Style: WORD | The Statement of OmissionLizziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15336669130631289967noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-76281498863722330222014-08-02T12:34:03.241-07:002014-08-02T12:34:03.241-07:00Thanks for sharing your thoughts on engagement rin...Thanks for sharing your thoughts on engagement rings. When wedding time seemed to be heading my way, I ran into a British woman at a farmers market who had a small band of tiny diamonds (like a typical American wedding band) and then a solid silver ring paired with it. The tiny diamond band was her engagement ring. I immediately knew that this was for me. No engagement talk about karats or comparisons to other brides-to-be. But I was the most excited about being able to easily slip my hand into the pocket of my jeans!mbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03521128080023589065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-44510129496271287002014-08-01T13:07:44.970-07:002014-08-01T13:07:44.970-07:00Hate that you were robbed. LOVE that you helped ca...Hate that you were robbed. LOVE that you helped catch the thief and that your article appeared in Vogue. <br />My wife and I started out with matching, rolling tri-color hollow gold bands. Both bands showed terrific dents and dings. She has since lost a lot of weight and found simpler rings that she likes. I shopped Amazon for a stainless steel comfort fit band that I love.mbickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16583878409650537268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-16908265776570640442014-07-31T10:24:27.850-07:002014-07-31T10:24:27.850-07:00I loved your Vogue piece. I'm still single but...I loved your Vogue piece. I'm still single but in the stage of my life where all my friends are married or on their way down the aisle. It has always felt unnatural to me to fawn over a rock on someones hand. And it bothers me when someone gets engaged that people seem more interested in staring at their hand and analyzing a rock, then talking about the people involved.<br />The "need" for a diamond is a line that's been fed to and gobbled up by a consumer driven culture.<br />Thanks for sharing your story!Vernhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16899674586472820776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-48870677241091418932014-07-29T15:23:30.718-07:002014-07-29T15:23:30.718-07:00I am 1000% with you on that article (beside the ba...I am 1000% with you on that article (beside the balloons -- I love oversized balloons). My husband insisted on getting me a diamond engagement ring, but all I've worn since my wedding day is my simple gold wedding band. It's so much more functional, and I don't feel like I have to prove anything to anyone while wearing it; it just stands on its own as a symbol of my commitment and love for my husband. Plus, I'm never afraid of losing it or scratching someone with it. And so chic all on its own. Yay for simple bands. I plan to add small bands for different milestones we reach in our lives together.Nicki Clarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07006380012179357532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-48219833299795823192014-07-29T05:01:06.465-07:002014-07-29T05:01:06.465-07:00While I'm not planning on getting engaged anyt...While I'm not planning on getting engaged anytime soon, it is something I've thought about from time to time. When my sisters and I turned 13, my parents gave each of us rings. Mine is a very, very simple gold band with a small, rectangular diamond in the middle. If/When I were to get engaged, I've always thought that I want something like that: simple and understated, yet with its own elegance. <br /><br />I get my love of simple from my parents, yet my mom has one of the most elaborate engagement/wedding rings I think I've ever seen. The ring is actually three different parts that my dad has bought over the years and I don't know if I've just always associated it with my mother or what, but she and it just go together so well. It's quite stunning and while I don't know if it's something I could pull off, my very down to earth, very not a diamond kind of woman mother manages to do so.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-37589577532789211902014-07-29T05:00:29.936-07:002014-07-29T05:00:29.936-07:0004While I'm not planning on getting engaged an...04While I'm not planning on getting engaged anytime soon, it is something I've thought about from time to time. When my sisters and I turned 13, my parents gave each of us rings. Mine is a very, very simple gold band with a small, rectangular diamond in the middle. If/When I were to get engaged, I've always thought that I want something like that: simple and understated, yet with its own elegance. <br /><br />I get my love of simple from my parents, yet my mom has one of the most elaborate engagement/wedding rings I think I've ever seen. The ring is actually three different parts that my dad has bought over the years and I don't know if I've just always associated it with my mother or what, but she and it just go together so well. It's quite stunning and while I don't know if it's something I could pull off, my very down to earth, very not a diamond kind of woman mother manages to do so.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-12931377054409005432014-07-27T22:24:33.367-07:002014-07-27T22:24:33.367-07:00115I loved this! My sentiment exactly when my husb...115I loved this! My sentiment exactly when my husband and I decided (yes, mutually) to get married 4 years ago. I didn't want an engagement ring, only a simple wedding band, so I chose a custom made matte rose gold band with a hammered finish and a tiny flush set diamond. <br /><br />I hated the idea of wearing a ring to tell everyone you're planning a wedding. Some people understood and felt like to reflected who I was, while others kind of balked at the idea and always followed up with something like " well you could always get a diamond eternity band for an anniversary to stack with it some day," as if my minimal amount of bling and overly simple wedding band wasn't enough. <br /><br />It's about the marriage people, not the ring! The band is the commitment symbol and if you can't get something that truly suits you without feeling societal pressures, how can you be your true self in a relationship?KGMB Educatorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02156135762639656528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-75224792106920423652014-07-27T13:19:47.856-07:002014-07-27T13:19:47.856-07:00Well-written and stated once again. Your article r...Well-written and stated once again. Your article really says it all in a way I have never been able to share with my peers. Concise, interesting, and latent with your personal story- I really appreciate your opinions in style, but this particularly hit home with me.Casey Createshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08280216848092911590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-30835618475006940632014-07-26T23:05:13.968-07:002014-07-26T23:05:13.968-07:00When my husband and I got engaged, 33 years ago, w...When my husband and I got engaged, 33 years ago, we were broke college students, about to graduate and without a dime between us. So his mother generously gave us my then fiance's grandmother's engagement ring from 1917, with a perfect 1 carat Tiffany set diamond. It was certainly the most expensive item of jewelry I had ever owned...or ever expect to, for that matter. When our middle daughter was an infant, I accidentally banged my hand into a grocery cart (long, boring story), and discovered, upon it's repair, that the diamond had actually chipped. Yikes! And his mom didn't especially like me to begin with!<br />So, fast forward a couple of decades, and I break my back, and I'm laid-up for a long period, gaining a lot of wait, and find that my rings no longer fit my finger. In truth, I hadn't been wearing it for the exact reasons you detailed in your essay, Lizzie. So, I've taken to wearing my husband's grandmother's simple gold wedding band, with engraving on the inside, reminding me of how love goes on through time. And it's perfect for the minimalist me. Mamavalveeta03https://www.blogger.com/profile/17079883155916629361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-42248615673645884272014-07-26T16:57:31.835-07:002014-07-26T16:57:31.835-07:00Thank you for writing this in Vogue, as when I was...Thank you for writing this in Vogue, as when I was younger (engaged at 20, now 29 and hopefully more confident) I bought my own engagement ring for $50 at a neighborhood knick knack store. It has a black stone and it was perfect for me as a reminder of my soon to be husband as we lived in different states. I received a lot of unpleasant looks and talking behind my back, which I could have done without. But we were young and poor and I never expected or wanted a diamond ring. In fact, it would have been a silly thing to do.<br />Since we've married, I replaced my ring for a gold band with sapphires made from a ring my husband's father gave to him before his death. I love this ring. I also love my black engagement ring, which sits in my jewelry box. It's unworn, but I hope I can use it as an example to my own daughter someday that despite what their friends might say, you don't need a diamond to marry the manor your dreams.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-48105166895894807492014-07-25T15:47:19.957-07:002014-07-25T15:47:19.957-07:00Oh thank you for writing this! I wear a solid gold...Oh thank you for writing this! I wear a solid gold wedding band. I actually do have a diamond engagement ring that I don't wear – my husband is totally fine with this because he knows my taste, style, and personal opinions, and also is aware how I feel about him. I get questions constantly from people who don't know me (and some who do) regarding my lack of engagement ring.<br /><br />Two good friends of mine got married last weekend and the man is not wearing his wedding ring on a daily basis. He's not the jewelry type, very simple guy, and his wife is totally fine with that but of course everyone else has an opinion.<br /><br />It's bizarre. People for some reason feel like they can interject their opinions on you, particularly when it comes to things like that. Thanks for writing about this in such a public forum!Second Floor Flathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03756771578184447195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-85850990922279649092014-07-25T15:38:57.943-07:002014-07-25T15:38:57.943-07:00To be honest, If I were to ever get married. I dou...To be honest, If I were to ever get married. I doubt I'd wear a wedding ring or engagement ring at all. I know of many people who are happily married, yet choose not to don their fingers with rings, traditional or otherwise. <br /><br />It is however refreshing to hear so many other women state that they'd prefer not to wear traditional rings. I don't like what a traditional ring has come to represent in our society. It's yet another thing, we are judged by. Also I can't help but agree with freelance writer, Christine Lennon when she said that she didn't want to be claimed or bought. This deeply resonated with me. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-67874267673095792732014-07-25T12:01:06.651-07:002014-07-25T12:01:06.651-07:00I really liked your story on diamond rings, especi...I really liked your story on diamond rings, especially because I´m from Buenos Aires =)I´m not engaged but I couldn`t imagine my boyfriend buying me a diamond ring, even if he could afford it. I have several engaged friends: two did not want a ring, one wears a lovely and simple white gold band with very tiny diamonds and the other one wears a ring her boyfriend bought in Turkey. My mom wore a plain gold band before she lost her wedding ring, my sister does as well. The Kardashian sized rings are incredibly tacky in my opinion. I actually like saphires more than diamonds, and they are not my birth stone either.Cathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18047839065221245363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-22886819216845603412014-07-25T11:51:41.798-07:002014-07-25T11:51:41.798-07:00Thank you for this post, Lizzie! Here I thought I...Thank you for this post, Lizzie! Here I thought I was some lone weirdo having squirreled my ring away a year or so ago. I didn't want a diamond to begin with, and though I haven't a clue what its monetary value might be I found wearing it becoming more and more burdensome and just not me. Here's to knowing what feels right to you regardless of what anyone else says, thinks or does!michelleskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05947088184308551880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-57826280509409436302014-07-25T10:35:50.940-07:002014-07-25T10:35:50.940-07:00I thought your Vogue piece was smart, honest, and ...I thought your Vogue piece was smart, honest, and well-written. I'm not a big fan of large rings and what they've come to signify for some: social status and materialism. I also don't get the obsession over diamonds, especially when it comes to crazy talk about "upgrading" the diamond down the line. Bigger, bigger, bigger.<br /><br />But, you know, I love my engagement ring, with its smallish diamond. It was a gift from my now-husband, and though it may be traditional, it's still a frequent reminder of our love for and commitment to each other. My wedding band also has diamonds, which sounds blingy but is actually pretty subtle. Both are from Satomi Kawakita, whose organic and subdued style is tops.<br /> <br />These little rings make me happy, which I didn't expect — I've never really been into jewelry. But I've always been into the man who's now my husband, and so I smile when I look down at my finger. Having a smaller diamond makes me smile, because we have a big love — we're just not showing it off through jewels.<br /><br /><br />anniehttp://www.theglowhow.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-41789648127715801792014-07-25T10:06:16.842-07:002014-07-25T10:06:16.842-07:00I agree completely. My husband isn't American ...I agree completely. My husband isn't American and had never been to the US when we decided to get married, so I'm not sure he was even aware of the diamond engagement ring thing. It didn't occur to me either because I've never liked diamonds and if we/he had had that much money, we would definitely have spent it on something else. <br /><br />I've heard women say that they wouldn't marry a man who couldn't "prove" his commitment (her worth?) by giving them a sufficient diamond ring, and I don't understand that at all. To me a diamond engagement ring really only makes sense if the woman loves diamonds and they both find the tradition meaningful (and don't have to go hugely in debt for it).<br /><br />I actually loved the comment by the woman in the article about how much she likes her beat-up wedding ring. I couldn't tell from the context whether it was already old when she got it, or whether the wear had happened since she'd gotten it; but I know that I love the scratches and wear on mine because it's a reminder of how worth it being married is even though you both acquire some scars and wear over the years.Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06993538750583884075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-42278195047656560702014-07-25T08:13:16.941-07:002014-07-25T08:13:16.941-07:00A great article! I'm sorry to hear that you ha...A great article! I'm sorry to hear that you had to deal with robbery, but it seemed to have triggered a great reflection and story (and it is even better that you kept your cool and got everything back).<br /><br />When I got married last summer, a friend mentioned that he had missed the engagement. We skipped the ring, the balloon photos and, for us, it felt just right. <br /><br />I respect that for some women a diamond actually is a good friend, but I resent it when it becomes the standard to which all other women are compared ("What! No ring?! No diamonds?! No proposal?!). <br /><br />Here is to doing what one wants to do and stylish diamond-less bands that celebrate that. Sashahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05318684120602201795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-66899899231823716862014-07-25T07:36:18.314-07:002014-07-25T07:36:18.314-07:00Loved your story as well! I am recently engaged an...Loved your story as well! I am recently engaged and have a simple ring with a small sapphire instead of diamond. People seem disappointed when they see it and ask if it's my birthstone (it's not). My fiance said he got some push back from the jewelers and even his own mom, who insisted I probably really wanted a diamond. Thankfully he held strong :)Marissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16824807197611377168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-21021311660088543142014-07-24T15:28:46.108-07:002014-07-24T15:28:46.108-07:00Great article and perspective. I have been married...Great article and perspective. I have been married for almost 11 years, and my husband proposed with a custom gold band, which he knew was exactly what I wanted. I didn't want a diamond for practical and aesthetic reasons, but also because I felt (and feel) they are wrapped up in the same package with beliefs about relationship and marriage that don't appeal to me, and aren't what I want for my partnership. Thanks for writing your story, and for giving a platform for like-minded women to share theirs.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00105116396085121386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-81173990975547730112014-07-24T13:51:28.492-07:002014-07-24T13:51:28.492-07:00loved your article. for the first time, i have he...loved your article. for the first time, i have heard an opinion on diamonds that matches mine. it seems that all american women are obsessed with diamonds. the shrieking "let me see your ring!" upon announcing an engagement, actually means "let me assess your economic status!". i chose not to partake in this game, and when my husband and i decided to get married 8 years ago, i requested a simple gold band. a lot of people don't get it. oh well. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-87986702815749898602014-07-24T13:45:06.881-07:002014-07-24T13:45:06.881-07:00Lizzie, I am sorry about your robbery experience a...Lizzie, I am sorry about your robbery experience and on the other hand CONGRATS on the Vogue article. <br /><br />This article is great and it resonates with so many women - myself included - because I think there is a quiet shift happening. My engagement ring is a thin gold band and my wedding ring is a 100-year old signet ring that I found for $150. The jeweler it was purchased from told me to think of myself not just as the buyer but also the next caretaker for the ring, which I love. It is my favorite piece of jewelry and I've found myself wearing less and less accessories since I was married last year. The ring is small and unnoticeable to some but it feels like everything I need, for every outfit and occasion. <br /><br />I overhead two girls chatting at a coffee shop earlier this week. One was telling the other that her boyfriend better give her a viral social media worthy proposal, "You know, like those videos on Facebook." The same day I read an article about a company who will create your perfect engagement ... starting at $5,000. So in the era of Kimye weddings there is still a big market for big engagement rings. But! When Vogue is featuring articles like yours, it makes me feel hopeful for women who are less "Disney princess" and more down to earth. Thanks, Lizzie!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14497330298118620795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-58378762652402371402014-07-24T13:35:01.203-07:002014-07-24T13:35:01.203-07:00I got engaged with a twist tie when I was packing ...I got engaged with a twist tie when I was packing up after my senior year of college. We were sitting over a laundry pile, and the idea occurred to him spontaneously. Not only would a large engagement ring have been completely out-of-step with our current life situation, it would have been impossible for him to afford one. Eventually the twist tie was replaced with a silver ring with a green "emerald" he purchased at the gift shop under the Space Needle. We had just moved to Seattle and were showing his parents around. I paired that with a very thin silver band, which I for a year until I eventually inherited my great grandmother's tiny diamond ring. I guess my point is that it's okay for your ring to NOT be a statement, traditional or rebellious or otherwise. For us, like you, it's been practical and, frankly, fun reflection of where we are in life. LBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15721159421035632632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-81481647543896619082014-07-24T11:29:35.133-07:002014-07-24T11:29:35.133-07:00Well done, LIzzie! Couldn't agree more. While ...Well done, LIzzie! Couldn't agree more. While I appreciate the symbolism of a wedding ring, I don't have one at all and instead switch out whatever ring I like at the moment on that finger (never diamonds). :)danielle @ this picture book lifehttp://www.thispicturebooklife.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-80123910561947016892014-07-24T11:15:36.383-07:002014-07-24T11:15:36.383-07:00Yes! I wear three rings on my left hand. A simple ...Yes! I wear three rings on my left hand. A simple gold wedding band. A funky, many layered "engagement" ring with the tiniest diamond, and a chunky silver and gold ring with a peridot that my husband bought me in Goa. All together tell a story of our relationship without, I hope, ostentation or a need to draw attention. Thanks for your story.Sujuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08489394712508185870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7932722121110967476.post-68498180327387415422014-07-24T10:41:39.880-07:002014-07-24T10:41:39.880-07:00love this story - thank you!love this story - thank you!Dellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17491212130264408421noreply@blogger.com